The only thing that really matters

Photo by Daniel Leone on Unsplash

By now you will be used to receiving what we would like to think is useful musings from us on pretty much everything under the sun but usually related to markets and the world of investing.  This week’s post is a little different and written by our CEO, David Cunio, is a bit of a leap of faith on his part 

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Generally, I’m a pretty low key chap, I don’t do social media, I don’t do traditional media and I really prefer not to do public displays of anything.  It would logically follow then that I do not care much for birthdays, anniversaries etc as to me they get lost in the bigger picture of living life in general.  Those who know me may remember my words at my wedding almost 11 years ago and again at the brith milah (circumcision) ceremony for my son a few weeks ago when I waxed lyrical about how we tend to look at life as being defined by a series of peaks and troughs.  There is always a birthday or an anniversary or a career achievement or a child’s success to look forward to.  Kind of like how many people look forward to the weekend or to an upcoming holiday to escape the day-to-day grind.  And a whole bunch of bad stuff happens from time to time too.  As one friend put it last week, I have had many more than 40 years of action packed into my allotment.  My contention always however is that true quality of life is when one is content with all the stuff that happens in between these peaks and troughs – when the actual day-to-day is embraced with excitement and anticipation each morning when one opens one’s eyes.   

However, quite unexpectedly on the day of my apparently milestone 40th birthday last week (1 October to be exact) I experienced a somewhat unforeseen mindset shift.   

I was planning a pretty low key 40th because as I mentioned already, I genuinely don’t like a fuss.  Even the thought of arranging a party to celebrate did not really fill me with great excitement.  Well, COVID took care of that decision anyway.   

My plan was to spend the day with my wife and our 4 week-old son, take my two daughters to school, go for lunch, fetch the kids later on and have a quiet evening at home all together just hanging out.  

My first thought when beginning to stir in the morning as always was to check markets and make sure they were not going to spoil my day.  Incidentally I have for the past couple of years slept with my phone downstairs and far out of reach else it is a recipe for disaster.  But before I could open my eyes my two daughters dragged me downstairs where I discovered a mountain of wrapped presents (40 to be exact).  I was expected to open them all before breakfast.  Before anyone gets too excited, they were all small and incredibly thoughtful little gifts – my favourite chocolates, some “vouchers” for a full nights sleep (newborn baby) and some tickles from my daughters and a few really cool things thrown in.   

We dropped the kids at school down the road and came back home.  Some friends popped over to “celebrate” – no more than 2 at a time of course keeping the total under 6 including our newborn son as our feudal overlords’ guidelines mandate us to do. 

At that point, my dear wife informed me she had a video to show me.  I had explicitly forbidden her from making a “40th video” with all my friends sending messages. A video from everyone with me as the focal point filled me with absolute mortification. I have always thought these videos are a bit silly as the messages would most likely be packaged full of generic celebratory messages.   Of course, being the dutiful wife that she is she completely ignored me.  Unbeknownst to me, she had spent the past weeks gathering videos from practically everyone I had ever had more than a passing conversation with.  She had been putting it together while awake, feeding our baby in the early hours of each morning. 

My initial reaction was pure terror.  But as the familiar faces started speaking it turned into the most emotional day I think I have ever had apart from my wedding and the birth of my kids.  Tears fell from my eyes again and again as I was repeatedly filled with such raw emotion.   

See the thing about relationships is that they MATTER.  They matter deep inside.  To anyone else watching it would possibly seem that it was just another 40th birthday video for someone from their friends.  But what is relevant here is that to me these words had MEANING because they came from people who MEAN the world to me.  The bonds formed when we truly connect with other people are always there inside waiting to be triggered any time. They were mostly incredibly thoughtful and deeply true messages filled with anecdotes about times together and often with great gratitude for the friendship we have.  I couldn’t actually believe these people were saying all these things.  To be honest I don’t think my wife could believe it either. 

I have a favourite study that I always refer to when the topic of conversation turns to happiness and fulfilment.  Most of you who have ever chatted to me on this topic will know about the Harvard Happiness Study, the longest running study of its nature ever done.  I watched this Ted Talk many years ago and it led me down a rabbit hole to study what it is that makes us happy as human beings.  The study, which has been ongoing for nearly 80 years concludes unceremoniously that it’s not the weather, its not financial success, it is not the restaurants you frequent nor the in-demand shows you see that determines happiness.  Rather it is the QUALITY and DEPTH of the personal relationships you have. 

When we started this business, one of the most important things for me was to build something authentic with a group of people who buy into the same philosophy of not only what we want to achieve but also how we want to behave.  That means we wanted to build a business from the inside out.  This business is about who we are.  Apart from being about how we make money and do what we love on a day to day basis, this business was built to reflect all of our individual personalities and as time has passed our group personality or consciousness which has emerged much to my delight.  And this despite the fact that for at least one third of our time together we have been physically apart.  We love working together and we work for each other every single day.  When I think about how critical this is to our business it opens a new world of understanding how the world works and what determines success – and in fact a complete rethinking of whatever it is that success actually means.   

Most of the good things that have happened to us so far in this business have resulted from connecting with other people who dovetail with our way of thinking about life, the universe and everything else.  It has been from learning about what drives them to do what they do and the relationships that they have that we have found each other. 

Our business is still very young and it is very exciting.  We are by no means guaranteed enduring success by virtue of the strong start we have made and we recognise that completely.  But having a strong, closely-knit team of people who believe in each other sure will help us navigate the peaks by not getting too carried away and cruise together through the troughs that will certainly come. 

So please, don’t be shy, reach out to us, we want to get to know you.  We want to understand the people behind the businesses.   

Everything in life is about people and as one of our great mentors once told us everyone has their story.   

Tell us yours